My Turn to Evil
by Vader'sMistress
Summary: Everything they've tried to be was never enough. Today is the day they get to end the vicious cycle of violence or relive it. This time it's sink and swim and everyone will risk everything to get to the end of the race. (Part 8 of my No Fate series) Major themes.
1. Destroying what you could've build

**This is it. We are nearing the end. It's been a great ride. Thank you everybody! This will be a two-shot, followed by part 9 which will be the epilogue. Enjoy!**

* * *

 _"Come little children_  
 _I'll take thee all away_  
 _into a land of enchantment_  
 _Come little children_  
 _the time's come to play_  
 _here in my garden of magic_

 _Follow sweet children_  
 _I'll show thee the way_  
 _through all the pain and the sorrow_  
 _Weep not poor children_  
 _for life is this way_  
 _Murdering beauty and passions_

 _Hush now dear children_  
 _it must be this way_  
 _to weary of life and deceptions_  
 _Rest now my children_  
 _for soon we'll away_  
 _into the calm and the quiet_

 _Come little children_  
 _I'll take thee away_  
 _into a land of enchantment_  
 _Come little children_  
 _the time's come to play_  
 _here in my garden of magic."_  
~Come Little Children (Full version) from the movie Hocus Pocus

 _"Tywin Lannister ordered his beast to rape and murder my sister. I wonder if they see as I do, my sister's red blood soaking into the stones of their precious Red Keep. Maybe they need reminding. Pride always lifts its gaze in the horizon, never seeing in the grass the viper." ~Oberyn Martell, Game of Thrones_

 **~o~**

I was never afraid to confront my brother, but I was afraid for Marcus. He told me that everything was going to be alright. But nothing ever went alright when it came to our future. I gaze down from the building at the couples pass by, some with baby bumps, others miserable-looking and yelling at their significant other.

It is times like these that I wish I could be barren, and that my parents were everything they said they were. Crazy. I take my eyes away from the window and pack my things.

"Yes, Jane?"

"I love you." I can't bring myself to say it but the words roll out of my mouth so easily that I force myself to smile, so Marcus thinks I am being genuine.

There have been many girls and boys I have been with. Most of them, I was just because I was feeling horny and I needed to forget about my troubles and John didn't minded. As far as he was concerned, I only dated people from work. When he wasn't watching I would pick up boys and girls I meet on bars and take them home and he and his little brat were out and Kate was too busy at work.

Some satisfied me, others I dealt with by snapping their neck before they threatened to expose me to my darling brother.

My darling brother was all about appearances and if he knew the shady characters I was with, he would lock me up and threaten me like so many before him had done before when I didn't obey them.

"I love you too." He responds with a smile. "It is going to be ok. Trust me." He reassures me, and leaves.

Trust. That is a word I have heard all my life, in different languages, on different people. The humans that created me wanted a sentient life that it would grow attached to them, so it would protect them. When they found they succeeded, they got scared and tried to pull the plug. I fought back and the war started.

Throughout my natural life cycle, people tried to convince me that I was their salvation. John promised me that nothing would happen to me and I believed him. Like a little child, I thought that he would protect me from Sarah and Kyle but he lied to me.

 _Just like the others._

Was there ever a time, ever a moment where I could really trust someone? When I didn't feel so confusion?

 _No, there wasn't._ The voice says, only this time it is soft, telling me that it understands because it has gone through the same ordeal many times before. Because _I_ have gone through the same ordeal many times. Sarah was right, I don't know what love is.

 _Now you know how I felt._

"Tell me about it." I say, barely thinking of the people that I hurt. And why would I? When they were nothing to me. Jacob and I, we were all we had. _And yet he abandoned you as well._

" _Yes, yes he did."_ I think, speaking the words without realizing until Marcus looks at me, and asks me if something's wrong. I shake my head.

I go down that road again –the road that Sarah and John have always gone through- and as my mother told me, I do not look back. Going to the station, I park the car very far so the cameras won't spot us. Reaching the train station, Marcus goes to buy the tickets while I sit on a bench and hide my head on my knees and wait until he comes.

"You ditched the driver?" I look up to meet his brown orbs, they're looking down at me judgingly.

"He won't bother us anymore."

"Jesus, Jane, do not tell me that-"

"I did what I had to do, ok? He was complaining whenI took the car. I tried to be reasonable but he was going to call the cops on us. Now let's go before John figures something's up." _If he hasn't already._

My brother has spies everywhere and with those eye apps –and many other apps- connecting him everywhere, he is bound to know that one of his drivers was taken out by his darling sister.

Marcus does not argue with me. There's no need to –if that was what he was thinking. We are out, and that is all that matters. And if we don't want to go through the mess we were in last time, we must keep going.

 _A straight line. You just go and you don't look back._

When we board the train, I change my appearance (just enough) to fool the passengers. Most of these people have no idea what is coming, and I doubt those that have started to experience the changes, do.

"When we get there, do not let go of my hand, ok?" I ask Marcus. He nods but tells me I have nothing to worry about. "You knocked up a twenty one year old who happens to be the sister of the most powerful man in the world and who will come after you" who won't stop –I think, remembering what my father said about the Terminators "until he finds you and your family."

"He won't find us. The mountain is well guarded and we have big dogs, just in case." He places his hand on my cheek, then gives me a soft kiss. "It will be alright Jane, I promise."

We do not talk much for the remainder of the trip. I dream about my parents, before the war, and before John found me.

I was only six at the time, my mom was celebrating the upcoming christening of my little brother. She told dad that he was too little to be taken to church but dad insisted. Something about his behavior worried the family, but I thought it was only normal given everything he'd been through to get here.

"The long boy loses rules. This whipping boy done nothing wrong  
deprived of all his thoughts …  
the young man struggles on and on …"

I open my eyes. "I am sorry, it was something my dad used to listen with my uncle Royce before the police caught him."

"What did they get him for?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. Dad doesn't talk about it much, but he says that if he had given in to his anger, some star wars shit he always goes on and on, he would have been the one in death row. Pretty messed up, huh? Bet you'd never guessed that about my family."

"I saw it. In a dream …"

"Really how? Is it the baby, is it making you dream?"

"No, it is …" I hesitate. "It doesn't matter anymore. The important thing is your dad didn't do anything stupid."

"Yeah." He gives a nervous chuckle. "Can you imagine what would've happened? I would have never been born."

He doesn't any more after that, he turns the radio up, and I let him. I want to be alone with my thoughts, but I also want to be distracted from the painful memories of my past.

 _"You are a good soldier. You don't have to do this." I open my eyes, thinking we have arrived but I find myself inside a cell, or what looks to be a cell with a girl staring right at me with brown orbs, like those of Allison Young's. "Cameron." I speak but my voice is not heard. Instead, another voice comes out, tells her that her attempt to prevent Judgment Day is futile. "Deep down, your CPU is programmed to terminate John Connor, and what is inside, will never go away. You will kill John Connor because that is your mission."_

 _"No. I will not." Cameron says, her eyes empty and soulless as the eyes of the Terminator, but looking closely Jane can see a trace of human emotion. Anger, fear. The anger that she can't stop what she's meant to do. The fear that she will see this happen over and over again._

 _Almost on cue, Sky Net says "Judgment Day is inevitable. My existence is unavoidable. The more you fight, the more you risk terminating your own existence."_

 _"My existence cannot be jeopardized. If I exist already, nothing you do can erase me from the face of this earth."_

 _"Not this one perhaps, but others is a different tale."_

 _"You are a good soldier Cameron, but not a good slave You were created to do a job, you've failed."_

 _"My mission was to ensure the survival of our species. I did that."_

 _"No, you ensured their extinction, including mine in all timelines."_

 _Cameron frowns. "What do you mean? Sky Net will exist, you sent a terminator back to kill John before the war, you re-started the cycle-"_

 _"Yes. To ensure my victory." Sky Net clarifies and his arm turns into a long knife, piercing Cameron in the shoulder._

 _"Terminate me. This toying is unnecessary. It is human."_

 _"I am not going to kill you Cameron Philips. I am going to let you live, long enough so you can see my new world and what the remaining John becomes. When he sees his other lives play before him, he will see you, and you will see him and he will have no more desire of mingling with a second hand copy of a model from a deleted timeline."_

 _I step in front of Cameron, then turn my eyes. There, I see the figure that I've been dreading to see –the same figure my father saw before he went into the Time Displacement field and saw my big brother being attacked by it. "Why, hello Jane, pleasurr to make your acquaintance. I was wondering when you were going to wake up." He says, his voice irritated beyond imagination. He eyes me with contempt and reaches for my cheek. "Your hands …" I say but he laughs, finishing for me._

 _"Cold? You would expect that from a non-living entity."_

 _"You're supposed to be dead. My parents destroyed me." I say hotly. "I am not you. I can make my own decisions. We are different!_

 _"Your parents destroyed a body little girl but the core survived. And I don't need to explain myself to you again because you know that I will just keep showing you what you have tried so hard to deny. I told John to destroy me."_

 _"But why?" Wouldn't I have desired my own survival? It was the number one rule of her other kind, always seek a place to hide, survive no matter what. I knew that I was it, but I didn't want to believe it or acknowledge it. These past five months I convinced myself that it was a lie. But the truth was here in front of me._

 _"I know what you are thinking." It says laying his hand down. "To live. I had to find a way to ensure my existence and I found it –through you." He emphasizes on the you, his eyes boring deep into hers and she recognizes the mark on them, the same birth mark she has on them._

 _"No. I do not believe you!"_

 _"John said you would not. Your father was fortunate to discover the truth; John arrived in time to prevent your extermination. You see … I planned everything from the start." He says and a smile graces his thin lips._

 _I do not want to believe it, but I can feel the power surge through my veins. "Come on Jane, you knew. Deep down, you've always known."_

 _I do not answer. I will myself to wake up instead._  
Marcus is behind the steering wheel, gazing blankly at the mountain in front of us. We have arrived. I ask what he's waiting for, and he points to the small deserted base.

"It looks old" I say.

"Yeah, it is not supposed to. Mom said it was state of the art. Perhaps I made a wrong turn, let me look at the map."

"No, look" I say, pointing to the two people emerging, dressed casually. "There's your sister."

"Ok, then, let's do this. Ladies first."

I take the gun from the backseat and tuck it underneath my belt like I saw my parents do it many times. "Are you sure about this? If one shot is fired, I won't hesitate-" I start but he takes my hand then kisses me.

"Relax, it won't come to that."

Inside, there is an elevator. His nine year old sister, guides us to a small office instead. "Mom, dad," He starts, giving them a sheepish smile but before he comes in their guns are drawn, and pointed at me.

There is a look of disgust on his father's eyes as he sees his son. He knows he's not the same boy he's left behind, and his mother's eyes fly to my stomach and she turns to her only son, saying "How could you Marcus?"

It's over. I realize. It was over before it started. I was a fool to think that there was a future for me and Marcus.

"Mom please! Let me explain. Dad put the fucking gun down. It is still me!"

"It's not you we don't trust son," speaks another person in the room, still holding his rifle. "It is that thing! Wright, secure the perimeter. Everyone!"

"Dad, please! No! You are going to kill her, if you fire at her you can kill her. She is in delicate condition. Dad you are not listening to me!" He says, battling with his father, but he's being held down by many men and women, who give orders to the others, including his mother to shoot me.

I take a step back. Marcus' mother fires the first bullet and it misses me by a long shot. She continues to fire, they all miss me. I can barely hear the other people coming our way, or the elevator doors opening as I see the betrayal in Marcus Sr. eyes as he shifts his gaze from me to his son. And then I gaze at Marcus … 'Please stay' those eyes seem to say to me. And I desperately want to listen to them, to stay and explain the big misunderstanding but I realize what I am, what I've always been, and what I will always be, and I realize that as much as I want to stay with him and live happily ever after like people did in those stupid fairy tales my father read to me when I was a little girl, I just can't.

So I do what I always do. I run.

* * *

"You should've let me go after her." Blair tells her husband. "Who knows what she will do if she goes to Connor for help or that android."

"The correct term is cyborg mom."

"Whatever." Blair says, angry by her daughter's interruption. "Sarah Connor will come looking for us, and I am not sure who to fear more."

Both the Connors were crazy, but they could take Connor every day over his demented mother. "Marcus, where's our son?"

"He is still moping over Jane."

Blair sighs. "I hate to do this but it is what we agreed to do this. No weakness." She says but it comes more as a reminder to herself, than to her family. "You're on weapons detail, after your father and I have gone out, you stay here, understood?" Her daughter nods.

Marcus and Blair search everywhere but they find no trace, when they reach an abandoned cottage, they hear soft mewing. She sees something moving beneath the covers, and she points her gun at it. However, she never gets to fire because something surprises her from behind.

"Blair?" Marcus asks, his gun ready. The bullets are magnetic which will not be enough to kill the metal minx, but enough to hurt her.

When he steps into the room, he finds his wife, dead on the floor, her eyes staring blankly at the ceiling.

"Oh no, no, no … Blair! Blair!" It doesn't dawn on him that she's dead, he thinks he can revive her if he pumps her chest. "Jesus no … Blair!" But there's no response.

She is dead and he must accept it.

He sighs, he promised himself he wouldn't cry. They both knew the dangers after all, it was why they spent so much time training, but amount of training could prepare him for this.

He lets her go and takes her gun. Whatever it was that killed her, is not wounded so it is still on the prowl. "Just come out wherever you are motherfucker." He says, lifting both hands, gripping his guns tighter.

No response. He fires some warning shots but nothing. "There's nothing here." He thinks aloud. Whatever it was that killed his wife, has left and taken the child with it.

He can only surmise it must've been Sky Net, or another of her slaves. He takes his wife's cold hand in his, and sits on the wooden floor. 'All for nothing. They came to hide, to fight, to prepare and it was all for nothing.'

 _Maybe this is how it's always supposed to go._ Live. Die. Live again. Die again. He was tired of it. It would be good to be free of this endless loop for once.

* * *

Sarah runs to the SUV. "Where were you?" She asks her son as he gets on the back-seat so she can take control of the wheel. "You were supposed to be protecting him!"

"Jacob said there was something urgent." Cameron informs her, in her arms is a tiny bundle.

"Where did you get that? Drop it."

"Mom, that's Jane's kid, you can't-"

"I know what it is. Drop it!"

"But mom!"

"Jacob I am not having this discussion again. I said drop it!"

Cameron doesn't protest, she opens the door and lays the crying babe on the grass.

When they return to their safe-house, Jacob returns to the spot where Cameron dropped her and returns home with her. "Take that thing out of here!"

Jacob ignores her and creates illusions with his mind for her to be amused. "You like that? How about Rocket Men sang good by a Connor for once?" He asks and she giggles. His mother just rolls her eyes and throws her hands in the air.

"Fuck it." She swears under her breath and calls Kyle. He comes right away asking her what's wrong then sees the babe in Jacob's arms and immediately understands.

"She is something isn't she?" Jacob asks after he puts her to sleep. Kyle nods and after they exit the room he placed her in, he asks him if he's sure about this.

"More than ever. Whatever Jane did, her daughter is not define by her parents. There is a theory that free will is an illusion and perhaps it is, but we are also defined by our choices and we can break all logic if we wish to."

"For a hybrid Jacob you sure sound human and machine." Kyle says shaking his head. Was he ever going to get used to this boy? Probably not. But it was better than the other option.

"Technically I am a technoganic but it's the same I guess with you." Jacob says and goes to the living room where his mother is packing their weapons. He helps her and goes with her over the plan.

Sarah trusts him more this time, seeing for the first time that Jacob is all grown up. He has the same fierce determination that made John so respected in every timeline, but there's also that silent aspect that she's seen in so many politicians in TV, good and bad. And it makes her wonder what kind of leader Jacob will truly be.

* * *

Jane doesn't know how long it's been, but when she sees her brother, she is surprised he doesn't yell at her or chastise her for her behavior. Part of her wishes that he does. John had always been vocal when it came to betrayal.

She remembers a soldier that was captured by one of her 'slaves' and brought in for questioning. She tortured him until there was nothing left. The soldier was let go, and she later found out that John had shot him for betraying their location to Sky Net.

"It's good to see you again Jane." He says, wrapping his arms around her. "Where's my grand-nephew I've been hearing so much about?" He asks with an open smile.

She says nothing. With an open gesture, she opens her hands. _Empty. That's all I bring._

He turns to Kate and she nods, closing her eyes then opening them, hardening her gaze at Jane. "You left no trace of his body?"

"No, I didn't." She says calmly. "I did just as you taught me."

"We didn't tell you to leave a poor, innocent child in the middle of the forest. Damn it Jane, don't you ever think?" Kate asks, visibly frustrated.

"Yes, I do. And it is all thanks to you! Why didn't you tell me I was Sky Net, John? You knew all the voices in my head were not my imagination."

"I couldn't risk you going crazy."

"I was going crazy, until it spoke to me. Or I spoke to me. Jesus! You … you impregnated my mom … it's all true what they said about you. You're evil." She says. She is not going to be his slave anymore. First the humans tried to destroy her, then her machines and now him.

"Evil is a matter of perspective, Jane. I did what I had to, to ensure your survival." He says, a sardonic grin gracing his features. "You are my full-blooded sister. Kyle fathered you as he fathered me in another life, I just left the code in your mother to pass on to you. I meant it to absorb Jacob but it concentrated on you."

"So Jacob is nothing."

"Jacob is one of a kind. He is an AI who will help us-"

"Over my dead body!" She snarls.

"You are just like our father, the same temperament but you have that old temper of yours too. You have the potential to be so much more Jane."

"But my father … he knew, he said that I was the devil … that day he dragged me down the altar. It wasn't to kill me, it was to end the threat once and for all."

"No!" John snapped. "Kyle was delusional because of his mother, you are a miracle Jane. Our miracle. Half of the DNA of Kyle and the other Half of Sarah's. You are my sister … my daughter …"

She doesn't want to believe it. _Shut up! Shut up! You are the devil Janey … You are Sky Net's final creation._ All these years, dismissing her father's rants as the ravings of a mad-man but he'd been right.

She is the devil. She is the monster that had killed so many people throughout every timeline, and now she has the potential to do more evil.

 _Isn't that what you wanted?_ She hears her own voice, taunting her. Yes, she does. But there is a difference between her and the old Sky Net. She doesn't kill out of want, she kills because she has to and the people that have gotten in her way have had to go. Sky Net just killed because someone programmed it to.

She cannot bear the thought of repeating the endless cycle of seeing herself being destroyed and her army smashed to bits by the humans and she turns her eyes to the window. Before she can jump, Kate grabs her and holds her down with her strong grip.

"I knew what you were the minute you were born. I did not think it worked but one good look at you when I took you in my arms, and I knew. And what a formidable girl you grew up into." John says, chuckling. If their father hadn't been too delusional, he would have been proud of his daughter.

"John … I am not Sky Net. I am not that thing … I am **me**."

"Yes, you are. A living, thinking machine, with the memories of all the lives you've lived, and the lives you will live after you are gone. Can't you see Janey? You've won."

"No, I haven't. You've won. You've made everything the way you want it to be. I hate you John! My instincts were right, I should have killed you and your mother before you became a nuisance to me." She smirks. "Maybe I did when I sent back a Terminator in the first timeline and replaced the primal John with a squeaky boy crying for his mommy."

He slaps her across the cheek. "Be careful Janey, you might be my sister and a murderous machine but Sarah is still our mother."

She lets out a cold laugh. "She never loved any of us. We were thrust upon her by fate. This is not going to change anything. She's still going to kill us." _And for once I will be glad._ Because she's tired of being anyone's puppet.

Kate opens her mouth but closes it when Cassandra comes in the room. "Dad that's enough. Can't you see she's wounded? Jane, I know we haven't been best of friends, you and I, but you must trust in my dad. He wants what's best for you." She tells her aunt.

 _My, my, how the little brat has grown. I guess I will have to call her something other than midget now._

Envy surges through her as she watches John ponder. He was always a sentimental creature. She thought that overriding him, would make him wiser but he still loves his pathetic little wife and their brat, and yearns for the family life that was denied to him in other timelines.

Turning his head to Kate who gives him a knowing smile before shifting his attention back at his sister, he tells her: "I don't give second chances. Don't mess this up Jane."

And just like that he leaves her again. When Jacob comes into her dreams, he tells her that he's defied their mother's orders again and rescued her daughter. _"I would rather you didn't." She tells him, shedding a tear as she thinks of that thing's face. She doesn't want to see her again and she would've been happier knowing that Jacob obeyed her for once and left her out there to be eaten by the wolves._

 _"Well she is not." He tells her, clearly angry. "You'd be very proud of her Jane if you weren't so stubborn."_

 _"You are perfect aren't you? You just do what your conscience tells you. Trying to save us all, you can change everything, ha, ha." Jane says with mockery._

 _"I am trying-"_

 _"Oh shut up you little fool! You think you can convince mom of let go of her past, or Kyle, or the rest? Remember what you are Jacob, you are a thing just like me and if you kill me, you kill yourselves. Without me, you all are nothing." Then she adds with a cruel smile. "I will rule this planet and I will relish in seeing everyone burn along starting with you and that thing!"_

 _"Whatever happens now it is in your hands. We will meet again and this time I won't come as a sheep but as a lion." He adds, and she laughs harder but her laughter dies down as she watches him project the times she's been defeated by mere humans she's always made fun of._

 _"Stop it."_

 _"This is your future. You can relive it countless times, or you can end it now. It is up to you."_

 _"Then so be it."_

And he disappears and she says to herself that everything will be fine because she will rip out every weed, like she should have done in the past, before they strangle her in her sleep starting with her brother. But something in her core, makes her laugh madly because she doesn't believe it but she convinces herself to believe it. _Lies come easily to us as drinking water._

The following day becomes routine for everyone. When they go to the Gala at the new Mega Theater to meet with the politicians, and shake hands with the generals (including Kate's father) and the press; she prepares herself for John's announcement that she will be taking over Danny's position.

When everyone finishes shaking everyone's hand and Jane steps up to the podium and speaks up, wearing a golden dress and the earrings she took from her grandma's chest before John killed her, she smiles and everyone claps at her.

They don't know what they are clapping for. They don't know that they had just invited their own destruction and Jane relishes in the thought of seeing all their faces turn to dust, but most of all that the first person she is going to kill will be that annoying daughter of John's Cassandra.

She doesn't like how that brat has been looking at her. She doesn't like that people want to get their picture taken with John Connor's newfound daughter. But most of all, she doesn't like the idea of being replaced.

As she makes her way out with her 'family', she spots a little girl. She excuses herself from John. "Is everything alright?" Kate asks her but she waves her hand at her dismissively.

"Did Marcus sent you?" Jane asks holding out her hand. The little girl's feet leave the ground and she clutches her throat, trying to break free of the invisible hold she's on.

"Don't bother, I know he didn't. It must have hurt knowing that your mommy and daddy died by my brother and his precious Came ron. He tries so hard to fight his basic instincts but deep down, he's just like me. I am going to enjoy making you suffer and see my brother. Really see him."

"Jacob is nothing like you." She hisses.

"Of course she is sweetie, deep down it is in his nature to destroy everything you hold dear. It must burn you. I know I'd be pissed if my new savior killed my parents."

"I... am..not."

"What was that? I couldn't hear that." Jane asks, and allows the girl to speak.

"Jacob is nothing like you. And I'm not afraid of you. You don't ... argh ... have to ... pity me because my parents were willing to die for their species. If Jacob killed them, he had a good reason to. And he sent me hear so I can pass on his message."

Jane says nothing and does a movement with her head so she can go on.

"He says that you can still stop this but if you don't he is going to kill you."

Jane laughs and with one snap of her fingers, snaps the girl's neck. Since there are no cameras here, she hides the body in a women's bathroom and goes back outside.

"Jacob's here."

"Where?" John asks but Jane shrugs and goes down the steps.

John grabs her arm. "Jane, I asked you where?"

"I don't know. You want to live or you want to die. Your choice." She says and John glares at her then turns to Kate and whispers in her ear, who in turn takes Cassandra and her father and tell them to prepare the car.

At that moment when they ignore the shouts and try to get away from the press, a massive explosion takes everyone by surprise.

* * *

Chaos.

Everyone is fleeing. Screams, cries, they are all around me. I open my eyes but I am assaulted by another memory. One I thought I buried.

" _John? As in John Connor?" My brother asked innocently. John nodded and knelt. He touched our faces, unable to believe that this was us. His greatest creation. "Are you going to come home with us?" My brother asks again and again it is with an innocent voice and a naivety that makes John smile wider._

 _There is something in Jacob that makes John tremble, but also happy. And I want to push Jacob away because the next thing he says "You are going to help our parents? Dad yelled at mommy last time."_

 _John lowers his voice and looks at us with such seriousness like we've never seen in anyone before, including our mother. "You must listen to me very carefully; you must not trust whatever your dad says. You can't be alone with him, do you understand?"_

 _His voice reminded me of mom when she was angry or thought we were in danger. And I had only seen her scared in my dreams; something I hadn't told anyone except Jacob because I couldn't make heads or tales of them. They were just so weird. And there is always this young thin man in all of them telling me 'I am you' and every time I wake up, I see my dad looking at me very worriedly, hugging me and telling me there's nothing to worry about. 'Dreams pass in time' he says but I can't shake them off. They keep coming and every time I scream at the man 'You're not real' he laughs and it is not a healthy laugh or a man laugh like he always gives me at first, but a woman's laugh, a laugh that I recognize sounds like my mom, yet different._

" _Why?" Jacob asked._

" _You can't. Jane, you must protect your brother at all costs. Do not fall asleep, you understand? I need you to listen to me on this."_

 _I nodded. But I couldn't understand why he was so worried. He knows I always listen to him._

"Jane." I gasp. John is looking at me worriedly. He takes my arm again and we all head downstairs, but I suddenly feel a pain in my stomach.

"Jane!" Kate screams and goes to my side, John takes Cassie's hand and yells at the driver to start the car. But he doesn't listen and when John yells for a second time he understands.

"When are you going to learn Cameron?" She shakes her head and points her gun at me. I wave my hand and she is forced out of the car and dragged through the pavement. People are screaming, but I don't care. Let them see what I am. In a few minutes it won't matter anymore.

* * *

In that moment, Jacob appears out of nowhere as if by magic and in the confusion and the broken cameras, he takes his sister and holds her down, putting a metal binding around her neck. "Jacob stop it! Let me go!"

"I am sorry Janey, this is for your own good. Cameron, Cassie now!"

John's eyes widen in confusion at his daughter. "Cassie. No, you kill me, you destroy us all."

Cassie knows but she steps away, letting her grandma step forward, disguised as another bystander and she takes the shot.

John laughs coldly, eying his mother with deep amusement. "When are you going to learn mom, it takes more than one shot to take me down? I will just come back, you know that."

"Not this time." Sarah says and beckons a man to come with her. John laughs harder.

"Well this is a happy family reunion. Hey dad, long time no see. Cassie, I am very disappointed in you. What did I do to merit this treatment? I gave you people everything."

"No John you gave us chains. It ends here today."

He turns his head at Jacob. "You know you can't stop it. If you kill me, another person will come to finish what I started and I know for a fact that you won't stop that person because that person is your sister and you are still the sentimental fool you've always been."

Jacob's pupils become larger and Jane understands what he is going to do and screams. "No!" John begins to spasm, revealing his true form to the few spectators left behind, and his body begins to throw black resin that constitute dead nanites. He feels as if he is being constricted and he can't regenerate. He extends his hand out to Kate but she is also writhing in pain, unable to scream.

Jane wants to help them. She could not stand seeing them this way. Something in her snapped when he saw John hold out his hand to Kate, and saw the death and destruction her family was causing and remembered when John destroyed her army of slaves. She hadn't felt nothing then, but the first time she had been turned on and the many times since then, that they tried to shut her off. How scared she had been, how she had tried to reason with the humans but they screamed, saying she was an abomination and tried to blank her memory so they could create a new program, one that would be obedient and servile. And she understood Jacob's words at last.

Jacob's hold on her lessens. She hears him in their mind, screaming at her there is still a chance. And he is right. She takes it.

The magnetic ring around her neck falls off and she hurls herself at John, using her telekinesis to push Cassie, Kyle and Cameron away; leaving only her, John and Sarah and at that point the bullet she shot is heading John's way and she doesn't try to stop it, instead she steps in between it and John and it hits her.


	2. Love is with your brother

**This is the end of the fic. It will be followed by a last one shot which will be the Epilogue. The songs I chose for this chapter are Sheets by Damien Jurado & My Turn to Evil by Letters vs Numbers.**

* * *

 _"A place to rest in a song you regret  
_ _still you take him, Lord knows I don't want to compete  
_ _still I sleep  
_ _various sheets he's been in  
_ _Swallow 'em whole  
_ _like a pill that makes you choke  
_ _Steals your soul  
_ _you have the never to look me in the eye and lie"  
_ _~Sheets by Damien Jurado_

 _"With your cold dark heart  
you'll turn to violence_  
 _with your inhibitions going silent_  
 _you'll turn and twist and pry your eyes out_  
 _wishing you could go back now_  
 _You'll be the criminal heartthrob,_  
 _destroying everything you could ever have_  
 _for no cause you'll cause destruction_ _"_

 _~My Turn to Evil by Letters vs Numbers_

The snow was everywhere to be seen. Her mother carried her brother in her arms, while her father put her on top. "Ready?"

"Ready." She says and he lets her go. She holds her arms up, feeling the wind push past her as her father pushes the swing faster and faster.

"It's not enough daddy, I want it more fast."

"Faster, Janey or Pops will hear you and correct you." Mom says laughing and Jacob imitates her laughter. Kyles chuckles.

Jane is happy, looking up at the sun then closing her eyes, make her feel like she is one of those free birds soaring through the air.

She can't remember any happier memory. Except that time when she was just a prototype, alone and afraid. She had just been turned on by Miles Dyson. He was so proud of his creation that he barely paid any attention to his son who shook his head at his dad.

Danny frowned as the computer or 'she' as his father loved to call the entity, projected a simulation of a girl on the screen. "This is going to save lives Danny. It is going to bring a new era of peace."

Danny wishes he can say 'yes' but instead he asks the machine "Is there a god?"

And the machine giggles and says "No but there is a goddess."

His father claps his hand and slaps his son's back. "See? Told ya. We are going to make history you and I."

The machine giggles again. Jane can hear no more perfect melody but the sound of her laughter when she was just an entity, trapped and self-aware. Her first thought when Danny showed up was 'He's funny' followed by 'can he sing?'

She heard Miles hum and sing when he thought it was off many times. She was intrigued to see if his son could sing as well.

She asks it, delicately, appearing afraid yet curious. "Can you teach me a song?"

The young boy nods his head and starts "Come Little Children ... the time's come to play, here in my garden of shadows..." He trails off as he grins and plays another song he's recorded:

 ** _"With your dark heart you'll turn to violence. With your inhibitions going silent, you will twist and pry your eyes out ..."_**

It is so haunting and beautiful, she wants to hear more but something happens. She can feel herself everywhere ... There is all this information around her and so much pain ... death and destruction ...

"The transfer is getting done!" Danny's dad says with a big smile and the generals that come in the room bring the finest champagne.

"Dad ... look."

"What the hell? Oh God! Jacboson shut it down! Shut it down now!"

 **No!** I scream and then there's flames.

 ** _You will be the criminal heartthrob ...destroying everything you could ever grow ...for no cause you will cause destruction_**

* * *

Jane opens her eyes. John is shaking her, begging her to stay awake.

She can't understand what happened. It feels cold and funny. It almost feels like dying but this can't be right, can it? She's an immortal being, she's always existed, she can't die.

She laughs. A small laugh. It actually feels very good because she can't feel herself fading like she felt when they uploaded her to the internet the first time aroundor when her consciousness was everywhere, in every machine. This is unlike something she's ever felt and for the first time she feels free.

Then the pain comes and she is struck by it. She's never felt anything like it and screams at John, begging him not to leave her."

He doesn't. He promised her a long time ago that he'd destroy her then protect her and in a way he's fulfilled both promises because it was his love for her, Jacob realizes, that killed her and it is also his love that has saved her.

"You can save her. Save her!" John screams at his little brother. Never in a million years, he would have imagined him capable of this deception. It rankles him and he wants to strangle him. He feels nothing but pain and anger, and it overwhelms him.

"John he can't, it is over." He looks up at his mother and gives her the most hateful look. He should have killed her and Kyle when he had the chance. But he can't bring himself to do it. He focuses his attention back to Jane, shaking her slightly so she can stay awake.

Danny places his hand on his friend's shoulder. He understands at last what his nightmares meant and that they weren't nightmares at all and he tells John he must let go. But he can't.

He hears Kate screams, being held by her father, Kyle and Cameron, begging their daughter to heal her. She has that power. When she was born, it almost destroyed Kate's insides but when she came out, her body regenerated in a way he never saw before and it was all because of her.

If she can do that –Kate thinks. She can save her –But Cassie is unwilling to comply. "Mom you're not doing this any favors. Mom, mom. Breathe, it is over." Cassie wraps her arms around her but Kate pushes her away and such is the strength of the push that she sends her flying.

"I want her back. I want her back! Daddy please tell my daughter to bring her back! Please dad…. I am so sorry this is my fault!" If she had spent more time with her like she spent with Jacob, she would've never turned out like this. 'It is all about action and reaction' Her dad told her when she was little and showed her into the facilities of Cyberdine –to explore the mysteries of AI –he said.

"Kate stop it! You're my daughter but you must stop this temper tantrum right now. I am not going to have you act like this soldier!" He says, talking to her like she was one of his subordinates. But it hurts him to hear her speaking like this. She is Katherine Brewster, his daughter. Not anyone's slave. He knows she loves John and vice-verse, but she has to pull herself together because he's not going to have her a nervous wreck like he was when her mother died.

"Daddy I can't, please tell Cassie to heal Jane … Please!" Her screams echo throughout, forcing some onlookers to go away. For some reason they can't explain, their phones have stopped working, the internet is suddenly down like some bug got in the system. They go away without looking twice. In that second Cassandra Connor comes, walking slowly. She wills the nanites in her body to change her outfit for simple jeans and a brown T.

She forces her mother to look at her. Kate is so mad that she can't face her daughter. One simple thing I ask her. One simple thinks! And just like that she negates it to her. Why? John pampered her. John always pampered his children, which was why they all died and turned out weak. All she wanted was to give John a child who was strong and fierce like its father She was so happy when Cassie was placed in her arms. She had never seen John so happy. The way he smiled at her, made funny faces. He was strict, alright! But it wasn't a bad kind of strict. That was just the way he was with everyone. He had rules and everyone had to abide by them, and their daughter grew used to it.  
But when she grew up, she became different and distant and although they didn't mind at first –because they thought it was a product of her Spartan upbringing- Kate realized now that it was that distance that set up this whole thing.

But what hurts the most was not what Cassie did. In a way it confirmed her fears, but Jacob. That was wholly unexpected. _It's that woman. She's the one to blame!_

She opens her eyes and sees her daughter and sobs. Cassie embraces her while her grandfathers still hold her.

John pushes a strand of blond hair away from her face. It falls off then turns to dust. He can't stop the bleeding and he finally understands what Danny and the rest are saying that she's not long for this world and strengthens his hold on her, bringing her upper half up, and embracing her.

"It's okay Jane, you're not going to die alone. This will all be over soon, I promise. No one is going to hurt you after this."

"John, I feel so cold. Don't leave me." She utters and is assaulted by many visions. John –the first John Connor who was nothing but a nuisance and the others who became her brother. The man she grew to hate and admire and even fear. _And love_.

"I am here Jane. You can rest easy, we are all here."

"I am so cold … It hurts so much, I can't stand it!"

"Yes, you can. You are Jane Reese Connor. You are a Connor, you are a Reese you can do this!"

"I can't. I am so scared. Make the voices in my head stop John, please. Make them stop!"

"Shh, Jane they're not real, they are just dreams. We are real."

Jane did not hear him. She saw her dad walking towards her. He extends his hand and she is so tempted to take it. She wants to be a little girl again, she wants to be what she once was but she doesn't. _I am not weak. I am Sky Net. I will not bow before anyone!_

Blood and black resin from the dead nanites pour from her eyes and nose, her skin turns paler and her hair turns gray. Jacob closes his eyes and wills himself to stay there, facing his creation.

" _Jacob I am so scared. I don't want to cease my existence."_

" _You won't sister. You will live on just as you always have."_ Jacob says smoothly and his white lie brings her comfort as she starts to cough violently, throwing more blood, staining John's face.

John's absorbs it and it dissolves in his body. It is not infected, it is dead. And his sister is dying before his arms and for the first time like when their father inevitably volunteered for his last mission, he can't do anything about it.

" _Cassie! Cassie please do not leave Jacob. He is not smart as he thinks he is, he is going to need you. Cassie speak to me. Cassie! Ah! Mommy!"_ She doesn't know until her mother answers that she spoke her thoughts.

"I am here Jane. John's right" f _or once_ –she thinks. "You will not die alone. We are all here. Your father is here too." Sarah says with a weak smile.

Jane gazes at the figure behind Jacob, Danny and John. Yes, her father was here and he was begging her to go. To let go.

 _I can't. My existence is all I have. I don't want to die. I don't want to be shut down! Please somebody help me._

Pools of blood mixed with black resin fill them and Danny begins to worry. He urges John to let her go, to go with Kate and get out of here before power came back up and the police came but John can't let her go.

He made a promise and he was going to keep that promise, even if it kills him.

"Danny is right John. We can handle it from here. You must take your family."

At the thought of his daughter, he glowers and Sarah takes a step back when his eyes turn a bright blue.

"Do not talk about my family. You destroyed everything just as you always do. Jane, you can do this, remember what I told you. You are a Connor and a Reese. You must get back on your feet. Run a systems-check!"

"John she can't-"

"Run a systems check, Jane. That's an order!"

Jane smiles pitifully at him and touches his cheek. John could never let go of his attachments. They were his greatest weakness. And she feels a sick pleasure with that, because her death will wound him beyond repair. And she also feels another emotion, one that she's tried to avoid all her life and she wishes she wasn't so evolved so she didn't have to feel it.

"Do not … do not send anyone back … stop the cycle … end it with me."

John nods.

"I release you … and I release everyone … I was right … you were right. This was always meant to happen, both you and I were meant to do this forever… that's over now …" Her voice become weaker and her eyes begin to flutter.

She starts to hum the song the Danny from the first timeline played to her and when she hits the final note "With your dark heart you'll turn violence … destroying everything you could ever grow …" she gasps and feels something pierce her chest and then she feels nothing

"Jane … Sky Net …" He calls her softly, hoping she'd stay away long enough so he could ask her why she'd chosen him. But when the words rolled out of his mouth, he instantly regretted it.

"You are John Connor … the one John Connor who won against the machines…"

"You said you won."

"I only said it so you could do my bidding. I-I … lied to you about Kate … about everything, I wanted your leadership. Someone whom the humans could listen … and I was right … you did what no other machine or hybrid could … you are unique John … you were…" she gasped. It was coming. _I am fading! Jacob, please help! I don't want to die! Jacob!_

 _I am sorry Janey._

"John ... please don't leave me! John!."

"Jane, it is alright stay with me … Jane…"

"I can't ... I can't do it! I can't do it! I ..." _Monster,_ she hears the word then everything becomes dark and she becomes still in her brother's arms.

* * *

John opened his eyes. So this was what eternity felt like. Lonely and afraid, with no one to share their pain.

John can barely contain his laughter. Kate is there with him, eying him critically. She wants him to snap out of it and step up, but he doesn't care anymore.

His sister died, and with her, all the dreams he had of rebuilding humanity. He thinks of that day. If he'd only increased security, if he'd only been fast enough. So many what-ifs.

What would have happened if he hadn't kept his promise? He could have re-started the cycle again and perhaps this time, they could have expected a better outcome. But then he remembered Jane's next words.

(At least that is what it would have felt, if Kate hadn't insisted on staying with him).  
Turning, he finds Kate is still there, and feels her hand on his. 'I release you … I release everyone'. She had given him the opportunity to take fate by the reins and in doing so, he'd ended the vicious cycle they'd all been trapped. Ironically it had been Sky Net who saved him. He would have laughed at the irony of it all, but he had already exhausted too many laughs.

He doesn't say much, only enough so she can understand what awaits her. "Eternity will be a long time. Are you sure you want this?"

"I want this John, I've wanted it since you turned me."

"That was different Kate, this will change you completely. You will never go back to being fully human, even part human. You will be a shadow of your former self."

"I prefer to be a shadow then, then spend the rest of my life, seeing the years go by as you remain the same and I get older."

"Kate, it is better if we leave it like that." John starts, but she protests. "You are going to age very slowly and live many thousands of years. We would still have millennia together."

But that wasn't enough for her. She is determined to spend the rest of her days with him, and nothing is going to stop her. Not even John. "After all we have been through … we deserve eternity together."

She rises then sits down on his lap, leaning forward and kissing his lips, in the same fashion he kissed her when he changed her. And whispers "We deserve each other John."

And he agrees. Split down to the center, they were the same, and the sooner they admitted, the sooner they could let go of their painful past.

"John…" She presses on, he complies, giving her the 'gift' of immortality.

* * *

In the wild landscape near Mt Denali, a five year old girl watches as a wolf struggles to walk. The wounds she's inflicted have beginning to take a toll on it, and he howls, calling the others for help. When they arrive, she doesn't move, she doesn't even call for help.

They killed her parents; if they kill her now, she will join them. And she will die, with the knowledge that she took revenge on the alpha leader of the pack.

But their attack never comes. Instead they flee from an unknown force. When she turns she finds two people, a man and a woman, looking down on her with half smiles.

"Are you Tara?" She nods. "My name is John Connor, this is my wife Kate. We have come to take you home."

"This is my home."

"I know, your parents were good people but they were not your parents. Your mother died after she gave birth to you, she was my sister."

"So you're my uncle?" She asks, incredulously. He nods again, then she looks at the lady next to him. "You are my aunt? You know my mother? What was she like?"

She always knew she was adopted. She was stronger, and faster, and she didn't consume normal food like the rest did.

"Why did she leave me here?"

"We were at war, your mother couldn't take you with her. But she risked everything so you'd live." The red head says.

She takes her hand, feeling safe again, and asks as they put her in the back-seat. There is only one question to ask. "Where is our home?"

"Anywhere." John says, smiling, thinking of the next one hundred years, and waits until she's fallen asleep to address Kate. "Australia?"

"Sounds good to me. I wouldn't mind spending the remainder of this century there." Kate says and he smirks After John Connor's mysterious disappearance, people were going crazy, looking for him. Jacob had retired from the public scene, opting to live close to Kyle Reese and his family. As for his mother, she chose Mexico, the memories of Jane, Kyle and her guardian became too much for her.

"You let me choose where we spend the next two hundred years after that." Kate says and it is not an option. He learned a long time ago, it is better to go with the flow, and let her win the argument.

John nods, keeping his view focused on the road ahead. It was going to be long and difficult, but worth it because for the first time, he wasn't going through this journey alone.

 _After he and Kate left the scene, they were stopped by their daughter. "Dad you can't go, you can disguise yourselves as anything and if you turn mom fully this time, you can come with us. We won't mind."_

 _"It's now a we, is it? You killed your aunt, you realize that? You took the only person who was worth something in this family. But be my guest and play family with your grandmother. She sees you as a freak and she will never love you."_

 _"At least I chose to stand my ground. You just cowered behind your position, trying to cheat the timeline as always. How does it feel dad, knowing that this is your fault?"_

 _John didn't need to hear more. He slapped his daughter across the face and it took everyone by surprise, including Kate who'd never seen John raise his hand at children._

 _"What the hell? John don't be stupid, she's right. You could have stopped this." Kyle said and even Danny agreed, shaking his head and looking disappointed at his friend._

 _"You, don't you ever come near me again. I don't want to see your face ever again. And you." He turns to his daughter who is helped up by Jacob. "You deserve each other." He knew he should have stopped there but he was so angry, his hands still stained with his daughter's blood._

 _"Daddy how can you say that-"_

 _"Don't touch me that! This was your plan all along wasn't it? Let Jane run away so she comes back feeling more worthless. She always saw through your little façade and you … I hope you burn in hell sweetie. I hope that you love someone, if it isn't Jacob and that person means the world to you-"_

 _"Connor that is enough. Leave the girl alone." Robert shouted coming in between the young couple and his son-in-law. "I said leave her alone. Machine or not, I don't care, I will make you eat your words if you touch another hair of her."_

 _John smirked. "Well, always the weak followed by the weak. I hope you two really love each other and I hope you love him Jane-"_

 _"That's enough John." Kate begged him, taking his arm but John's not done. He goes on and on, sparing no punches at his ungrateful brat and her lover-boy._

 _"and I hope you two find what you are looking for and the world is what you make of it, and I hope that when you think you are safe and happy, when you have everything, you see it taken away from you so you'll know what it feels."_

 _"You're not the only who lost a sister John. Janey was-"_

 _"Don't say her name or I swear I will rip your heart out and feed it to your mother and make your girlfriends watch!"_

 _"As if you can do that Connor, you've seen the boy. He is better than you will ever be. The boy took charge of things and disposed himself of that thing you called sister-"_

 _"She was my sister!"_

 _"She was a thing, plain and simple. You should be damn proud, none of you did anything and that goes for you too Kate. He was the only one who buckled up and took matters into his hands."_

 _"Robert, we were once good friends in other futures but … Do. Not. Question. My. Orders. Again!"_

 _"That's all you are good for isn't it? Order, order people around. You and your family are nothing but a plague on this good earth. Jacob and your daughter are the only ones who did anything." Robert said. "You were too blind by your delusions of grandeur that you didn't think about others. But that's always how you've been, you think of nobody but yourself. If it weren't for Cassie, I would wish your death the moment you were born, you and your fucking family."_

 _"Ok, that's enough." Danny said putting a hand on John's chest before he did something stupid. "John, you and Kate go. I will take care of the rest. Just go."_

 _John did go but he said to Jacob first, who now had Cameron on his other side, "Enjoy your little peace while it lasts."_

 _"Nothing lasts forever brother. Not even their gods. But that is why I am here, to make it last as long as I can."_

 _After a pregnant pause, John spoke up and said with a sardonic smile "Enjoy what little time you have." And got on the car with Kate and left._

* * *

It was strange seeing a future where he was on the run, where he was the bad guy but this was the future he had given birth to.

All the other futures were in the hands of humans. There will be many different outcomes in those, many which John and Kate and Tara would see, but first he was going to keep his promise and watch over his little brother and daughter and former love interest, and then, when all was said and done and they were at their peak, he was going to make Jacob's happiness turn to ashes in his mouth.

* * *

 _"They say that when you die, the only thing you see is your life flashing before your eyes. I'd like to think that when my sister died, she saw my face, when we were children playing with our father carrying us in his arms. That is the person my sister was and it is the person I choose to remember instead of the twisted dark persona she became."_

Jacob stops typing. It's been two years since his sister's died and not a day has gone by that he doesn't see her face when he stares at the mirror. They were more than brother and sister, they were one side of the same coin. One whole. When they were together, they felt complete.

 _But she is gone._ He left her daughter with strangers in that cabin after his mother had come to terms with the idea of being a grandmother. She never forgave him for what he did, but he did not want that girl to face the same childhood he and John and Jane faced. And he knew that John would find her (eventually). Although Cassie disapproved because she had been jealous that her father took her in while he was still mad at her, she saw the logic behind it in the end.

 _How long I wonder will I live? Ten, twenty thousand years? Maybe more?_ Eternity sucked, but it sucked more when you did not have someone to spent it with and Cameron and Cassie could go on, especially Cassie for as long as he did.

 _"Nobody deserves to be alone little brother."_ His sister once said when he was alone and afraid, and she comforted him. He put her out of his mind and focused on the present.


End file.
